Ghosted. Again.

Tags

boyfriend, dating, friends, friendships, ghosting, ignoring, internet, online dating, relationships, technology

Ghosting. The Urban Dictionary defines it as: the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels

So the list goes on and on. Azure, someone who I have enjoyed many conversations with over the past year has officially ghosted me. He removed me from Skype and blocked me from Google Hangouts without any warning. Not a word. I can’t tell you how this feels. I was worried about him, his father’s health, and what was going on in his life. But he has officially slammed the door in my face.

I can’t explain why people do it. I always thought Azure would be the last person to ever do it; to completely show no regard for my feelings and just vanish. Maybe its fate teaching me a lesson? Maybe there is a hidden message? Maybe with all I have been doing over the past few months its telling me that I need to step back? Maybe he found my blog? So many questions, that will all go unanswered. I knew Azure the longest out of all the men I have known online. He has had relationships with women much longer than me. Why block me now? I think the hardest thing about being ghosted is when you don’t even know why. You end up just racking your brain for reasons.

This is probably my karma due to all that has gone on with the Irish and Southern Gentlemen. I know I have to take a step back from the two of them for a while. I think I need to take a step back from the whole “online” thing in general. There are many reasons why people do what they do, I just I wish I knew what they were. The hardest part about losing a lover is when he is also your friend. Someone who used to think about you and tell you that they cared for you. Was it all bullshit? Is this whole online world just a sea of expendable people? Do we just throw people away at the drop of a hat because it is just so easy to just block and move on?

This may all just be a lesson for me. I lost one of my dearest friends. He gave me no reason. I have nothing to go on. I am completely in the dark on this one. What is it like to be ghosted? It’s utter crap. I know I have done it to other people before, and like I said it’s probably karma. But who knows? The fact is no one will. I have no idea why Azure did what he did, and I might never know. Gosh, you know I wish I had some answers. A goodbye message then a block would have been nice. But nothing. Nada. Just after a year of being someone’s friend, that’s it you are nothing to them. Fuck. That’s heartless.

To all those who have been ghosted, I feel your pain. I will try my best to never to do it to anyone. When it circles around to you it is like a stab in the heart. I wish I knew why. All I want to know is why. I never will know why, will I? Just something I have to live with I suppose.

And the beat goes on.

Stay tuned.

Let’s Talk About a Better Time

Tags

80s, 90s, apocalypse, dating, friends, future, internet, online dating, relationships, society, technology

So, as you all know, there was a science behind South Park’s “memberberries.” I am sure you have seen it, but basically you eat one and it brings your back to a time in your childhood where everything was great. You start reminiscing about the good ole’ days with Star Wars, etc, but for me it was Star Trek the Next Generation, (Riker’s beard! Yum!).

And what about this? ‘Member this?

What about this?

And of course who could forget this:

But it begs the question why do we want to go back to a simpler time? Has the responsibilities of the real world hurt us so much? There was talk that the “millennials” have a hard time adapting to the real world because you know when my generation was younger we didn’t get a trophy for “just participating.”: The only way you got a trophy was if you actually won something.

But that is not what I want to talk about. I want to talk to about what it was like to play outside with your friends. What it was like to go to a Drive-In and make out. A time where if you got a call from a guy, it was on your answering machine with its one cassette tape. A time that if you made plans with your friends, you would call them up on a landline and agree to meet at a place and ALL of you would show up. None of this bullshit where you hang around and wait for something better to along so you can text someone “sorry I can’t make it” and just break plans at the drop of a hat. I am sorry but this generation sucks. Yeah sure we evolved with our technology but it really hurts us. Do we really need to snap a picture of our meal and post it on Facebook. I mean WTF. Really? (And the only reason I used that acronym was so I don’t drop too many F-bombs). As a matter of fact the way things are now is just one giant F-Bomb.

I can think of so many things that I did that kids are getting robbed of today. Going out and hanging with your friends to laugh and talk, not sit around in a booth at Friday’s and all of you text without talking to each other. I mean why in the hell are you texting someone if you are sitting right across from them? TALK TO THEM! Fuck man. I am so frustrated. People have lost sight of all social skills in this society. Now everyone is just being coddled and everyone is afraid to speak their mind because everything is “politically correct.”  I get that everyone wants equality, I am all for it, but some of the crap out there really gets on my nerves.

But I will digress from that because I don’t want to get negative with this post. This is about a time when things were more “rewarding” and more “fun” in general. Arcades, bookstores, even BlockBuster. Why must you sit and binge a series, why not just stay in suspense and just fucking WAIT for the show. Just WAIT. No one wants to wait anymore. There is ZERO patience out there. People text bomb, call constantly and bang their cable boxes if there is not “instant” fix for a problem. God forbid the internet is out and you have to go outside, OH NO!!! No wi-fi? Time to cry in a corner. God, it’s beyond stupid. Can you honestly live without your phone? Can you go without internet? And I am not absolving myself of these things either. As I am looking at my life thinking about how I was 20 years ago, I was totally happier. I had more fresh air in my lungs. I walked for miles all over Manhattan getting to know people, places and things. I was never home. I barely used my cell phone, as a matter of fact I had a flip phone. I didn’t really get on the internet until I was at least 27. Crazy ain’t it?

So I say go outside. Enjoy life. There are better things on the horizon. I wonder what would happen if we all were robbed of all our technology? Would we all be completely helpless? I would like to give the human species more credit than that. I think we would adapt. I think we would make it. Mesopotamians, Incas, Aztecs, Altantians, and Romans all fell. We will fall too, it will just be a matter of time. Will you be ready?

Stay tuned.