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When do you know to get out? When he yells so hard at you, you can’t even understand him. Yeah, maybe I was wrong and I didn’t let him say what he needed to, but it doesn’t give him the right to scream at me at the top of his lungs. These games men play. I am not going to sit here and bash men but volatile relationships lead to abuse. I am not going to be afraid to be who I am for NO man. Yeah I cut people off when they talk sometimes, but I am not going to get screamed at for it.

Things were too perfect. He was too perfect. But isn’t that how it all starts? They are sweet, caring and loving,  then the REAL side comes out. The Abuser. The Screamer. The monster you once thought was the man of your dreams. I don’t deserve to be yelled at like a child or treated like a scared kid. I was afraid a lot in my childhood and could never get a word in, that’s why I don’t let people speak, because I want to make sure my voice gets heard loud and clear.

Crash and burn. I did what I had to. Hopefully he stays gone. I don’t want him in my life, even as a friend, it hurts way too much. He hurt me way too much. I don’t want violence, I don’t want yelling, I don’t want arguments. I thought I could do it, and I would fight for love, but I won’t fight for a man who abuses me. Never will I do that. Never will I fight for a man who makes me scared to talk to him. I began to become afraid of him a couple of days ago, and I should have listened to my instincts. Well now he’s gone, and I hope he stays gone. I don’t need that in my life at all.

On a good note, after seeing Azure last night in Adult Chat, I decided to unblock him and message him. I shouldn’t have burned all those bridges. The men in my life may have used me at their convenience but NEVER was I scared of any of them. I debating whether or not to unblock the others. I probably won’t because I did feel more empowered now that they are gone.  My heart is still beating fast after that ordeal tonight. I don’t need to be so scared and feel abused. I am glad I stood up for myself. NEVER let anyone yell at you and abuse you. You are worth so much more than that.

Stay tuned.

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