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god-of-miracles

So my posts have been quite emotional lately. Mainly posts due to struggle, because after all the struggle is real. But what about the good days?  There are some right?  Not everyday is complete crap. So here I am, 3:34pm on a cloudy Friday afternoon, thinking about all the good things that actually are in my life. I have amazing people in my life, who I would never trade for anything in the world.

I read a post about prayer and what it means to be close to God. I often wonder what happened to my faith or what came of it. I have been on a rocky spiritual path where it mixed with mania and I don’t know what is real and what isn’t. When I feel connected to my higher power, deeply and intensely, people tell me that’s just mania. But is it?  What if we just tap into a part of the universe that others don’t see?  What if I am really special?

People have been touched by the divine in many Holy texts, and they are revered. But I have those same revelations and I am labeled as mentally ill?  Where is the sense in that?  I feel really good right now, and I realize that it could be considered mania, but what if it’s just that I feel really good and it’s just normal? Why does everything have to be “labeled” as something?

I am confused. I have thought that my spiritual experiences were close to my heart and something to be praised, but I get stigmatized and told that “it’s just mania.” That’s bullshit. If it’s mania, then everyone in the Bible was crazy and Jesus wasn’t real. It’s called FAITH people. I am sick of people and their atheist ways. I understand that there are people who do not believe in the divine and in God, and they are entitled to their opinion but to me they shouldn’t tell me that I am “crazy” just because I believe and they don’t.

I believe in God, and I believe he helps me. I believe he guides me and he is in my heart. I don’t want to be told that because I have a spiritual experience with the Almighty that it is “mania.”  Screw that. I don’t want to hear that. Those are just soulless people who don’t get it and will never understand what it is like to be touched by the divine. Maybe I am just angry at non-believers. Maybe I am just angry at all the opposition President Trump is getting as he took office. Whatever it is, I believe God is very much in my life, and my spiritual experiences bring me closer to Him and it’s not mania.

Fuck everyone who thinks so.

Rant over.

Stay tuned.

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