So there have been interesting developments, as I have been knee deep in the online world as of late. I made contact with the Southerner and it seems I have mended bridges with him, which I am very happy about. That was a chapter I was concerned about only because I was the total douchebag in that situation for just dumping him. But I am glad he doesn’t hold grudges. Will be speaking to him a bit more tonight, so lets see how that develops.
But last night I had another session with my Canadian friend, and it was sooo good. How do these cyber sex scenarios happen? Especially when I have been thinking they were lame as of late? “I try to leave but they keep PULLING me back in” Famous last words, lol. But anyway, I spoke to one of my dearest friends today. She was in a car accident and I was really worried she was hurt. Sometimes we forget that even though its all online, there is still a living breathing person on the other side of the screen. Well, she’s okay and heartbroken. It seems that when it rains it really does pour because on top of the trauma she has just been through, one of these online dudes really pulled on her heartstrings and broke her heart. Don’t you hate when that happens? I mean I remember being in her situation many times when I have let myself fall for just “one.” But I have definitely rectified that situation in my own “online” life. I have more than enough to keep me occupied and I am always looking for more.
I feel like I am top of a mountain. The bipolar didn’t knock me down yet, so I am riding the high still. I still crave the conversations and am having trouble keeping my interest focused, and as I stand on top of this mountain my heart is screaming for the next chapter to begin. I know something is coming. All this stimulation is leading to something BIG over the horizon, and I am very excited to find out what. I am also hoping my friend recovers soon. I want nothing more than for her to find a nice man to enjoy her retirement with. Hearing her tears on the phone, while she cried over this jackass that broke her heart, my heart went out to her. Why do we let ourselves feel so much for a digital person over a computer screen? Because, ladies and gentleman, these people in the online world have real hearts, real thoughts, real charm and real personality and it comes through in their words. So easy to fall in love with words. So dog gone easy.
So in this digital world, as I stand on top of this mountain, with my heartbeat beating strong and roaring in to the horizon, what can knock me down? Nothing. I won’t be like my friend. I can’t allow myself to let “one” of these guys ensnare me. Just keep on moving, living fluidly. What do I have to lose?