So we all have appetites and desires right? No I just don’t mean just the sexual kind, I mean what of the mental kind? Does anyone crave good flirty conversation like I do? I am back to the point in my life where I am craving conversation again, but not penpal/friendship kind, but the fun flirty wholesome kind. I messed around and had cyber sex with my Canadian friend who I have known over the years, and yes, it was fun. But those things are never lasting. He is just one of those guys that just disappears for a few months and then comes back, ya know what I mean? I kind of played the “Debbie Downer” the other night (before our sex jam) when I complained that men never stick around and I don’t have stability. Hello!!!??? Didn’t I just leave the Southerner who was great stability????? Women, I swear there is no pleasing them!
I have to admit I am a complex woman. I don’t color inside the lines and I definitely don’t know what the hell I am doing when it comes to relationships. Sure, albeit all my connections are done online because you know if I was out there in the real world with my madness I would have probably ended up with an STD or even a baby! Both scenarios happen to frighten me to no end.
Anyway we are moving on from that moot point of actually going out and meeting guys, cause well the bipolar in me will just come out and scare the shit out of them. Back to appetites. I will admit the porn thing wasn’t giving me what I needed, but I have a very specific taste into what I look for. My sexual appetites are quite weird, where the time and setting has to be just right, as in the mood has to align with the stars or some crazy shit like that. Well it happened last night with my Canadian (ghost) friend. It wasn’t the best, but I was excited and enjoyed myself. I won’t read much into it though, he will probably vanish for a few more months. Que sera sera.
The Astronomer hasn’t come back in what feels like weeks now, another dead end there mind you. Guitarman pops up every now and then, (actually saw him for a bit last night), the Aussies are pretty much gone and the rest well, as they say: are history. But I turn my attention to what really brought on this post. My appetite for mental stimulation. I think the sexiest part about a person is their amazing brain and what could be done with it. I am one to admit I love words and being able to connect through them. Language barriers can be a problem too. Like a guy I met years ago,. (for some reason I am thinking of now), was using a google translator to speak to me. When he finally got it working he managed to ask me “What size breasts?” which I found totally hilarious. I mean when you can’t communicate ask to see some tits right? Haha. That was a priceless moment.
I do hope I find some common ground with a guy soon though. I am craving that mental connection. And I am getting more specific as to what I look for. I am done fooling around with these 20 year olds. What my Canadian friend reminded me of (he’s 41) is that I need a MAN. Young men find older women interesting, I get that, but what in the hell do I get out of it? Some wet nosed kid who has no knowledge of anything past Miley Cyrus. Yuck. And yeah you can go ahead and condemn me for saying it, but I have been out there in chat land, these 20 year olds have no suave, no finesse, no charm whatsoever besides asking ASL. They don’t know how to communicate or woo an intelligent woman properly. I suppose it’s that way out there on the online dating front which is probably why I am better off just staying home and enjoying my delights.
What will tomorrow bring? Well you know what, this lack of mental stimulation is telling me I need to be more proactive in finding a job and that I need to leave the men alone. But they can be so much fun! *Slaps hand, throws water in face* I need to get back out there. The sleep finally figured itself out, (hopefully), so now I can focus on more important things. But why do I feel drowsy now? Ugh, what a mess! I need someone with a broom to come and clean out my brain.
Off to the next adventure!