Sometimes in life we forget the trauma, we forget the pain.
Then you bare yourself to someone and show them your rawest self.
You dig down into the pit of your soul, the dark underbellies of your past.
Then the tears come, they wash over you, till all you are is a shaking leaf.
I had that moment tonight, tonight when I felt what it was truly like to be loved.
As a little girl, I dreamed of Prince Charming.
It took me 36 years to find you. Now here you are.
Never have I loved so deep, or felt as needed or wanted.
I have been broken, scarred, stabbed through the chest and heart.
I have unleashed my desires passion and soul to so many men.
Never have I felt such deep raw emotion, where I was the most naked.
I was naked in front of you, but not in body but in mind, spirit and soul.
There you saw me, and told me you loved me, after I revealed my death.
When I wonder the shape and direction of my life, never did I see a clear path.
To know I could be your wife.
That thought “wife.”
I honestly thought death would come first.
What you’ve shown me through my demons of debauchery and being a whore to men
Is that I am worth more.
I told you I was worthless tonight, and I saw the tears in your eyes.
The woman you love never thinking she was ever good enough for any man.
Because of how how she was treated in her past.
Tonight I was worth something.
I was loved.
And for the first time in 36 years I wanted to live.
I wanted to live for a future.
Through my death and despair my second chance at life was this moment.
To know you.
To love you.