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love online

So I have been MIA a couple of days. Why you ask? Well besides having an awesome time with my sister on 4th of July weekend, I have been investigating the whole online dating phenomenon. I have dabbled in online dating for nearly ten years now (off and on cause let’s be real if I was doing this madness for 10 years I would have shot myself by now).

What I found is that, as the years progressed, online dating has not only blown up, but it has gone ridiculously downhill. Like majorly. Since the days from when I met my best friend on Eharmony in 2010, online dating has become a billion dollar a year industry.  So many new apps are popping up everywhere.  And not only does it give you more choices, but it gives you TOO MANY choices. Why go to the bar and spend an hour getting to know Bob when Larry, Mike and John are waiting in your inbox to talk to you? And vice versa for guys.  People don’t get to know each other anymore because there are “Plenty of Fish” in the sea. See what I did there? Hardy har har.

So I have spent the past few days researching, (lurking) around a few blogs on WordPress, which I highly recommend to you for a good chuckle:

Soon2BeACatlady and It’s Not a Match

I have also been researching, (lurking some more), on Tumblr. All you have to do is just search for “online dating” and a plethora of blogs come up. I was reading one, A(n)nals of Online Dating, (no link because I think the site is down and it hasn’t been active for three years-frowny face), where its just a list of messages that women and men have received and submitted to the site for hilarity. I swear some of these messages made me cry. What the heck is happening to our society? Is English a second language? I mean seriously what the hell is going on?  The more I became curious about the whole thing the more I wanted to see what was going on in my inbox on OKCupid. Here is what I found:

Message #1:
Hey how r u?? To tell u about myself I’m a triplet and speak English as well as Spanish..if you would like to talk more u can text or call me name is [retracted] 845 XXX-XXXX bet u can’t beat me in trivia or a board game not to be rude Mrs explorer!!

Kudos to the jackass who gave a stranger his number, I can’t even understand half of the nonsense going on in this message, but at least he read my profile! (I love trivia and science fiction). Also points for calling me a Mrs. I doubt I would be on OKCupid if I was a Mrs. I seriously can’t even make this shit up.

But nothing beats Message #2:
Hello I’m [retracted] I read pretty much your whole beautiful and funny profile. You seem very very funny and really sweet. You cracked me up, when you said life is all about taking changes, and that you are a lover of life and what it has to offer lol since that is so true that life is all about taking chances, since once you take especially from the current and past that chance, you can’t get it again lol, only from the future. I would love to get to know you. I enjoy every food including Italian. What’s your name and favorite Italian delicious meal 🙂

Besides being a horror show, again kudos for reading my profile. Women are always complaining that guys don’t read their profile right? Well even when they do, its a very sad sad situation. Oh yeah and points for the smiley at the end!

But I digress, on a good note is was nice to get out this weekend. Me and my sister spent a lot of time together. We went to the beach Sunday and spent 4th of July baking goodies, playing board and video games (nostalgic and oh so much fun!), eating my Dad’s awesome BBQ and watching fireworks (we got a great spot). But other than that life is pretty good.

What about you guys? Have you tried online dating these days? Its crazy isn’t it? And I am not being all Feminazi, (the new word for feminist I think guys really do hate them its like WOW), I know guys get creepy messages too. Leave a comment. Let me hear your story!

Oh yeah and one more pet peeve of mine. Why are people like stuck to their phone? Like seriously I went out to lunch the other day by myself, and as I looked around people weren’t having conversations they were buried in their phones. I mean seriously, what’s the point of going out if you’re gonna be on your phone? Life in the digital age. Ah bliss..