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freedom-in-the-shape-of-a-crossIt weighs heavy sometimes. Like the chains of Jacob Marley. I wrote of him before. You remember him right? He was Ebeneezer Scrooge’s friend that visits him before the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future do.  Well I feel Jacob Marley sometimes. The things I have gone through and done to people through my mania I feel will one day harm me.  I have been thinking of things past today. Of all the things that went wrong in my relationship and my career. I realize drinking had a lot to do with it. Sometimes I still drink. Pick up a bottle, drown in my sorrows, rinse and repeat. Thank god its not a daily or even a weekly thing! I am very grateful for that.

I remember there were times when I was younger, I would fill half a bottle of raspberry Snapple with vodka and mix it all before 9am. Take a few swigs, then off to work. It was a daily thing too. Knock, knock liver are you still there? I suppose so, my doctors don’t seem to think there is anything wrong. My drinking habits have DEFINITELY calmed down since then, but there are days when I just want to get tanked like never before. Today is one of those days.

As I look upon my life, I realize I have accomplished absolutely nothing. But you know what? I won’t let that get me down. I have crossed paths with people, made differences in lives, and done pretty darn okay for myself. So how do you unlock the chains of your soul that are weighing you down? Let go of the past. Let go of that dating app. Let go of that bottle. Just live. Live for YOU. Live for today. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed…..

Stay tuned.