Sometimes I like being alone. Most of the times I don’t. I mean there are things I could do rather than sit online here and get drunk while writing a blog post. I made a post about why communications fail and I am looking more into it every day. Why do my communications fail? Why do people ghost on me? Is it because I am not showing boobs? Maybe if I were to communicate on Skype topless every time I talk to a guy they would hang around more? I am starting to think that’s the case. If people aren’t getting something from you, then why the hell would they want to maintain contact?
I had an interesting thing happen to me yesterday. I am one of the only fools in an “adult chat” room looking for an articulate literate man to communicate with. Probably one of the dumbest things I am guilty of to be honest. A guy named “nice guy” contacted me and proceeded to tell me that I was completely arrogant and that I was “stuck up” to ask such a thing in an adult chatroom. Really “nice guy?” I guess you aren’t so nice. Guess you’re just a prick hiding behind a name. And then I thought to myself, am I being too arrogant? I mean the only reason I am in the adult room looking for a nice articulate man is that there are over 1500 people in there at a given time. Most chat rooms have 200 or less. And that’s a GOOD room. But 1500 people? You would think ONE would be a good guy to chat with in there. Its mostly men in there anyway. And men pretending to be women. The whole thing is screwed up. I like being among them anyway, because they are degenerates they let it ALL hang out. I mean the most disgusting kinky things in the world are being requested in that room. People are really sick. Anonymity can make people extremely bold. But that’s not me. I go in as myself and I am always the same person. I even have my picture attached to my handle *gasp*
But it got me thinking, where do you go if you just want more friends? I have friend for life in my ex. He is my best friend. But I could use more people like him in my life. Perhaps even a close girlfriend to me my buddy? I mean I connected with someone here on wordpress who seems really nice so I am happy about that “YAY” But I would like a few more like her to contact. I recently joined PenPal World and all I have been getting is hit on by guys. Look dude I’m not DTF and this isn’t a dating website, this is a PENPAL website. Damn there are creeps everywhere! Anyway, I love writing letters and keeping in contact with people.
I guess I am guilty of loneliness. I used to love being alone and would spend hours daydreaming, watching tv and just being happy by myself. I was my own best friend growing up, and I just miss those days. I have always prided myself on being able to keep my own self company, but with these sites out there, chatrooms and forums and such, I have become addicted to the “digital” friend.
I don’t know, it seems being alone can either make or break you…..