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FindingClaritySo what was it like to meet him? Interesting to say the least. 11 hours on the phone worth. What do you talk about for so long? Anything and everything, and then the comfortable silence you get when you have known someone for a long time. But you know what, I haven’t known him long at all. Yet when we sit in silence, I close my eyes and imagine how I got here. I think about all the men that have come and gone, and what nonsense I had to go through to get this point.

“The English Communicator” is one of a kind. He has bipolar as well, and it feels so damn good to not have to hide that.  The “lies” that I usually tell gents when we first meet online I no longer have to hide behind with him. Usually, the bipolar men I meet are seriously screwed up, like beyond repair. Same goes for women too. Its difficult to be bipolar, I get that. But some people let it consume them to the point where they feel that nothing exists. The bipolar becomes an “entity” that has them rather than them having the illness. We HAVE bipolar, we ARE NOT bipolar. It shouldn’t define us, or ruin our lives to the point where we can’t function among people. We shouldn’t be shamed either. You know the way people throw around the phrase bipolar like its a horrid disease. “She texts too much, that bitch be bipolar.” UGH. That’s literally what is said, mind you in those EXACT words, which shows its okay to not be able to speak like an adult but its not okay to be bipolar.

And as far as online dating goes, that is just a waste of space. Where you have the same exact conversation over and over again. Where there is no substance, nothing new or exciting about this person you met. Not even a clever banter because they are too dull to come up with anything witty to say or bring to the table. *Insert puke here*

Anyway back to my Prince. This piece is dedicated to you and all your awesomeness. I think you are absolutely amazing, and its about time I met someone with a beautiful soul that will be in my life a long time.

Tales of a Shadow

Dark in the night, the moods consume me

Not being able to understand what it is to be me

Then he came and showed me so much more

When we get low we get really low.

When we get high we get really high.

We are strange, weird, different

Which makes me love our bond even more

You came out of the wind,  from the East far away…

But I won’t let distance diminish what you are or what you mean to me

You are a gem, my feelings are real.

Unbridled, unimaginable, fantastic, serendipitous.

Like a force of the Northern Wind our souls found each other

I don’t believe it was an accident we met

That we share a space where lovers often find uncomfortable.

I can be me.

Here.

Be me.

Be bipolar.

Here with you.

 

 

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