I have let a lot go these past few weeks. Expectations, friends, hope, love, desires….just to name a few. I know what it’s like to have a long lasting friendship because I have that with my best friend of 6 years. Geez has it really been that long? As I am getting older and my birthday approaches, I realize I am just going through motions. 40 will be here before I know it, my sister will be married and I just see myself…..ALONE.
Somewhere along the line I stopped caring. About my appearance, my weight. Things that I used to obsess over and give myself such a hard time about, don’t seem to matter as much anymore. What is this life? What is the point to all of this? I see people around me all the time. Having lunch, living lives, getting together to talk about things. I have no desire for any of that. Have I really isolated myself this way? I am lazy. I get that. But I seem to be bored…..with just life. It is so sad, because I still consider myself young. But damn is this it? Really? Is there nothing more? The only passion I have in my life is writing, and I see it slowly leaving me. To try and create something now is taxing. But I will give it a try. Follow me on my journey as I figure this out……
And if you are having a hard time….just hold onto me. I won’t let you drown.