I lay naked from a shower waiting for my phone to ring. The love of my life has surgery today. I have been out of the hospital one week ago today, and have been trying to put together a post for my trusty blog followers. I have a facebook now called Lynn ShatteredWish, but you will have to send me a message to add you because I don’t add just anyone anymore. My friends list currently is 15 and that kind of number is really what I am happy with.
Anyway, my journey the past month has rocked my world. Through a spiritual awakening I have faced death and loneliness head on. Laying on a hospital floor without a friend or family member in the world to help you teaches you to be humble. I am a goddess, I know this. I have immense power and strength over the elements especially my own (water) according to the zodiac, I am a Cancer sigh, born June 26th.
But when you’re in a hospital, that kind of talk is mumbo jumbo, we all know this. I spent a MONTH in there. A MONTH without fresh air, without facebook, without a phone, without money, without clothes, with nothing. Literally nothing. All I had was three numbers memorized. My ex (the love of my life) and my mom. The nurses would put the call through on a payphone for me so I at least had contact with someone on the outside world. For Christmas (since I spent Christmas and New Year’s in there 12/21/15 – 1/15/16 was my hospitalization) my ex came down from Weshchester to stay with me.
D is what I will call him. D is a godsend. Has stood by my side for 5 years and watched me jump from man to man to man to man because I was wishing one of them would tell me the one thing I have craved all my life. “I love you Lynn” That’s all I ever wanted. I tell D this all the time and it gives him anxiety. Why wouldn’t it? Here is this woman running around with all these men and then turns around and tells you that she loves you? What kind of mind F**k is that? Seriously. I hate to be in his mind while all this is going on. But D FINALLY TOLD ME HE LOVED ME this Christmas. and I cried out to the heavens. FINALLY, FINALLY, I will be ok.
Feel free to post or comment I am willing to listen to anyone who understands my plight, and remember to follow me on facebook, just send me a message first.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,