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Buddy_christSpiritual Laugh? What? Yeah I said it. I am a deeply spiritually person. I believe that people are meant to come into your life to show you things. But really universe? You’re gonna do this now. Now at the end of all my trials and tribulations this year, you are going to throw me a man that absolutely loves me and throw me a man that absolutely GETS me. Hardy Har Har!

We all want something. I want to walk into a restaurant and see people having an actual conversation without looking at their phones ONCE. I want 8 track tapes back. I want Betamax back. I want kids to play with a stick and a rock in the yard in the damn mud. I want to make a mix tape. Yes hold a tape recorder up to the radio and confess my love with some sappy love songs. I want Saturday morning cartoons with Looney Tunes. Good ole Bugs going to Alburquerque outsmarting WILE E. COYOTE SUPER GENIUS. I want to chat online without seeing a penis. Have you tried online dating? Omg what a mess that is.

You know Jesus wouldn’t have gotten very far if he didn’t crack a smile. BUDDY CHRIST! How YOU doin? You know I am a free spirit. Sexually, intellectually, emotionally. Mostly sexually. Yeah I SAID it.  There was a quote that comes to mind when I think about my current relationship. It comes from Lord of the Rings. When Aragorn asks Eowyn what she is afraid of. “A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.” I do not want to be that. I fear that. I told my friend I was bipolar. I am so extreme beyond the poles with my mood shifts. He said. “are you really? What you call extreme I call spiritually free. When you get really low it is your spirit, your being, your essence telling you something is wrong. And when you get high you fly, fly higher beyond anything in this universe. What most people consider “extreme” is normal for you. You are beyond what society views as “balance”. What most people consider is balance doesn’t apply to people like us because we are free.”

I thought about this greatly. And asked myself what it all means. Was he right? Or is this just one big joke. Is my spiritual self sitting back looking at me laughing going “YOU IDIOT!!” Universe are you laughing at me. Are you showing me that I need to not restrain myself because of my insecurities. To settle for one foot in the grave at the age of 35, or experience what I have waited my whole life for. I dabbled in polygamy a while back. Was I on the right track? Can I love more than one man? Or am I just bipolarly confused? Was this a test? Who gets all the answers. What if there are no guarantees. Just spiritual laughs. Hmm something to ponder.

Stay tuned.