Spiritual journeys are ongoing, never ending, unyielding, unforgiving, inconvenient and sometimes downright confusing, but it brings you to the ultimate truth. I never do anything “normal” one blogger told me, and it made me think. You’re dam right I don’t! I never do anything half way, half hearted or even half assed. Just straight through like a silver bullet piercing through a werewolf’s heart in the dead of night during a full moon.
Life is about moments. What does this mean to you? Have you ever stopped to wonder what brought you to this point? When you’re high from drugs or alcohol and you have to pull over on the road because you are sitting there staring at the floor of your car asking God, “Please let me make it home alive.” How did you get there? How did we all get there. Did we succumb to our inhibitions? Did we turn our backs on God? Or are we just human?
We are just human. Its all we are. He loves me. Yet I find myself still searching. Being a free-spirit. I cannot be shackled, I cannot be chained. I can get married yes, live happily ever after. I read so many stories of people on that endless search for someone to complete them. Is it just because they are lonely? I have been searching for so long for someone to complete me. I have been going around in an endless alcoholic circle. Its me. It’s always been ME. I am the one I have been looking for.
Clarity, I talk about it in all my posts. The more days go by in 2015, brings me closer to my whole. My being. My essence. Where are we? Where do we belong? Do you know? What is it we are looking for? Is it just love, or is it something more? Is it realizing that the hideous person looking at you in the mirror is actually the most gorgeous creature in all creation? Is that being vain? Or is it just being honest with yourself, knowing that you are worth it, you are worth being loved, you are worth loving yourself.
My spiritual journey has brought me to this place. In the misty nights that are to come in the Fall days of New York. I will continue on my path of freedom and love. He will love me, I will love him, and I will find myself completely. For once. For the first time in my life. Its here. Now, this moment. This is it. Let go. Just let go. And let it come.