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Breaking down. Then that moment when you sit in a place that you used to drown yourself in alcohol, and you order a milkshake instead of a drink. Okay I am trying to lose weight but Jack Daniels is not exactly a “diet” drink either. So we have covered that lets talk about The Gambler.

The Gambler. My latest obsession. He wasn’t online yesterday. He was probably off talking to that chat hussy he swears doesn’t mean anything to him. Whatever. I remember specifically telling him that attention from women is different than attention from men.

I digress. That chat nonsense is too much drama for me so I am gonna sit back and let her have him. You win skank. I have come to the point in my life where I realize that my life has more meaning than a chat program. Even more than actually finding a date. To me my sobriety has been the best decision I ever made. Every day I think about it. That next drink. I am sure The Gambler thinks about that next bet. I have learned a lot from him. About strength, courage, preserverance. Life is a gift. I want to live. He was in my life for a purpose to show me how strong I can be through all the Crap I’ve been through. I think about him all the time. How his new job is. How he is getting through the day.

Just a day. Get through a day. That was a great fricken milkshake. Day 21 sober. Just gotta make it to 22.