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Well the mania has officially set in.  Days without sleeping has been killing me. And the relationships I am in are super strange.  I find myself strangely attracted to a man that is unavailable to me, but its safe you know?  I have my Beowulf, my Viking god, but that relationship is dwindling.  I had a rough couple of weeks, getting used to fact that he is not around and that he doesn’t love me, or even think of me anymore.  Whatever we had seems to have burned out.  But you know what its okay.  Do we really need a man?

There is a myth that we need someone to be complete.  By why not fix ourselves first? Be stronger for us? Being bipolar is hard.  You go through spells of extreme happiness then all of a sudden complete sadness. I have maintained a good balance I think. The sleep though.  That’s a REAL problem. What’s up with that? I get really excited when I am around the “ungettable” guy.  He is a lot of fun.  I think we find each other interesting, and then the minutes turn into hours when hanging out with him and then no sleep!  Sometimes I wonder about him.  Had some fantasies about him.  Can we REALLY be monogamous?  Hmm.  Its the bipolar talking again.  Scattered thoughts.

I guess the real point of this post is knowing that I am slowly falling in love with someone else after a week of ultimate pain from another.  Being bipolar we go through love weirdly.  As a matter of fact we go through a lot weirdly.  We pretty much do everything weirdly.  We are weird.  We are the bipolar.

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