, , , , , , , ,

Five hours ahead of me.  He sleeps.  What does he dream.  Wake.  Sitting at my desk, some honey jack daniels on my lips, with the music “Say something I am giving up on you, I am sorry I couldn’t be the one for you” humming softly in mind.  Then the tune changes up and “I hear in my mind, all these voices, I hear in my mind all these words, I hear in my mind all this music, and it breaks my heart….”

Sad lonely soul.  Wind crackles outside as i sit at my desk.  He sleeps.  Distant lover. Such a careful man. You know he’s been hurt before. You are needy. Men have left you all your life. Never made you feel worth anything, like you didn’t matter to anyone. Ever. All you asked for was a prince. To be saved. Don’t we all want to be saved?

Crank that music louder so my heart can break some more. Mmm, this honey jack hits the spot as I light up my first cigarette in six months. Are we back to this again? My dark smokey brown eyes lingers across the screen as I type. My pillowlips pressed to the cigarette as the next few words pass along my fingers. “Princess” he calls me. Am I really? Hmph.

Dark Arabian goddess I used to be. Shadow of the person I once was. Look into my eyes and tell me what you see. “Say something, I’m giving up on you…..”

Look at me.  Tell me what you see when you look in my eyes and across my lips. He sleeps. Does he see me? Can he see me? Do I cross your mind? Jack Daniels hitting the spot now even harder.  Look at me. My eyes. My lips. Tell me what you see,